Jesus loves me this I know. Debra Wants me this I know. My kids appreciate me this I know. My church encourages me this I know. My Life Group cares for me this I know. Everything else I know, I will share with you.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

If I could........

I would like to take a moment to speak to someone who has a father wound.
Someone whose father failed to fulfill his role.

Here is part of her comment.
"BUT I am struggling to forgive my dad for letting a lot of evil happen to me... It is hard because I want to hear him say I am sorry for all the times that he knowingly let evil have me, for all the times he just knew something wasn't right but did nothing to stop it."

As a Father this hurts as it is so close to the heart.
I hear the pain of an innocent child left alone to defend herself.
and worse, I see the pain I have caused my daughter.

I was so busy trying to survive life that I ignored my daughters needs. I was so full of wrong teaching that I believed that I was right to live the way I was. I was consumed by work, other peoples problems, and caring for a wounded wife that my daughter became an unintentional casualty in my life.

While I have told her I was sorry, it doesn't seem to help. I can't make up for the pain I have caused and I have no words to defend it.

My only hope is that the course I sent her on leads her to a father who is far greater than I. My prayer for her is that she would find in God what she could not find in me.
A Father who lovingly guides.
A Father who carefully corrects.
A Father who passionately protects.
A Father who famously forgives.

While I do not know what evil your father let have you, I know that as a father if I could I would never let it happen again, but once you've failed as a father its hard to live with the facts and even harder to move forward.

It might be that your forgiveness might just be the hope He needs to find his forgiveness and become the father he always wanted to be.

If I could......


  1. Someday i pray she "my daughter also" is given wisdom to see that we are not blind to our faults.its sad that this is the diferance of mice and men.

  2. Amen! I read this as it hits my heart in a deep way. My dad failed to protect me. He failed to be a dad in any way. because of his failure I longed for the heart of a daddy! I found it in MY PAPA God. He goes before me, he stands beside me, he is all around me. When I think he feels far away he is closer than my breath. He is always with me. He is my peace, no evil will overcome me. He keeps my heart steady. He has caused my faith to arise! He is all I need. That longing my heart to have that fairy tale is gone. The day God reached down and touched my heart and set me free from the past, the day I truly forgave my dad for the past, something I can not describe happened. We have a different kind of relationship, one of respect and love. A love that can only come from heaven. My dad will be in heaven because I was able to give him what he could never give me. Unconditional LOVE
    It is a strange thing when you could say you would never change the past. With out the past you don't have the possibility of the future. Now I can take what I know and share something of great pain with other little girls. I can touch lives that most cant even grasp.

    Because Papa loves me I can continue to LOVE.
    Instead of missing what should have been I look forward to the glorious hope of the day we will meet. The day I get to wrap my arms around my Papa's neck, he will twirl me around like a little girl and make it all complete.
    He has bigger purpose for me!
    I am the one who won the most!

  3. Your words are an inspiration to me also, just knowing that there really are MEN who can face their failures and stand strong to how they feel.
    It inspired me to go to my teenager daughter, confess my faults, tell her how much she means to me and to apologize for past actions that I know were painful to her.
    I am a grown woman that, like others, didn't have the luxury of being protected by a father, both physically and emotionally. But seeing those words written to your daughter make me understand that real men really do exist.